Wednesday, 31 March 2010

Todays Tracks

Two more killers from the wank bank

Tuesday, 30 March 2010


The pride of our household in Manchester in 70's was the Cray X-MP sized wood encased radiogram, essentially a big fuck off side board of musical entertainment. Africa Islam famously used to hook his Ma's and Uncle Bernard’s radiogram's up to his Radioshack mixer for his early block parties, but even without a mixer you could rock a house party with the radiogram's stackable record spindle and still be able to serve warm Party Seven ale and pickled onions from its flat bar work top. It also had a radio with a massive bandwidth but could only pick up Jimmy Savilles "Open Brackets." Old Record Club "Close Brackets" or coded Russian fishing trawler transmissions. Everything changed in the 80's when Alan Sugar flooded the market with his cheap, smoked glass fronted music centres with its equally shit radiogram audio quality. This was the age of the 'Pause Button' and subsequent mad searches for breaks 'n' pieces in your old fellers Black Uhuru, Lonnie Donnigan, Goons albums. Somewhere out there buried under a motorway are rubbish Feelin’ James/Lesson 1 style tapes of Music Hall/Star Wars/Mike Harding cut ups. The radiogram was more than just audio equipment though, it was the control tower of impromptu after pub knees ups, whilst still being a piece of furniture and more importantly somewhere for your mum to display your school photographs and deformed owls you had made in pottery class.


Promo mix for new London night Transition, first night April 2nd feat. WBEEZA/LAKUTI/CHRIS BOX


Thursday, 25 March 2010

Booth of the Week

Wells Coates BBC booth gave Carl Cox the thickening.

'Look at them cunting Doctor Who knobs on the mixer'

Legal Highs 2

Trepanning: Try banning this you cunts, i've just ordered my kit from the internet and i'm going to blatantly open my noggin in boozers and clubs. This is the shit my friends and i can't wait to be on the front page of the Sun going on about the ethereal worlds my can opener has taken me to, along with other red top linguistic parables...

8 YEAR OLD KID OPENS OWN HEAD like a can of baked beans




Humongous for Spring

Loaf Pinching
Jazz piano wanks
The Lambeth Walk
2d Films
Scotch eggs and Picalilli
Tevo Howard and his dad
Fare Dodging
Postmans Lob
State Penn. (The rom com)
Bright yellow processed cheese
Gail Tilsley becoming Top Dog and chiving Vinegar Tits
Drawing willies on your books
Having a butchers through the peep hole.

That Dog Video...


Thursday, 18 March 2010


Mods have massive noses.


This is going to be the fashion bit where i post pics that have just been posted on hypebeast/highsnobiety/selectism...I'm not sure of the reason why but i'm sure it will come to me later.

Wednesday, 17 March 2010


Craig Davids Trainer Watch: Death Star Superstars

These are fucking boss trim rides, just check them fresh shit death star graffics. SERIOUS SICKNESS!!...Hook these super mo ding dong sneaks with some hot ass, fly as shit embroidered jean bizznizz and the pussy trim be all over your face. When i got these interplanetary rides on my feet i just love hitting the fucking streets and jumping over bin bags making 'PEEOOOW...DOOOO...DOOOOO' lazer beam soundz. Fucking BARE RAW slipperz for the street. YES I JEDI!!!!!!!!!!

Cartoon Time

Space Madness     

Monday, 15 March 2010






The London Nobody Knows 1967 (Download player to watch full version)

Sunday, 14 March 2010

Violins play

Hats off to the South American splinter cell operating out of Marcais (OAS88) for a job well done on Sosho, see with a bit of of planning and a milkfloat loaded with fertilizer/fuel oil party poppers you can really fuck up a shit late drink disco. Hats off fellers your postal orders in the letter drop...


Pauline Quirk "Fuck that place to the ground and all that darkened its foul basement"

Tom Selleck "Good riddance"

Michael Elphick "I'm turning in my grave"

Pumpo "Porca vacca!"

Tyra Banks "Fank Fuck!!!"

Joe Casely-Hayford "About time"

Lenry Henry "One fire burns out another's burning, KATANGA!"

Shoreditch Alan "What gives?"

Stanlake the Pap "Blasting drat!"

Bret Easton Ellis "If you phone me up again i'll have you killed"

LiamSki "Sun-ra would approve"

Macca "City are on fire!"

Friday, 5 March 2010

Things to do this summer

The sun came out for a bit today so i decided to put up my indispencible guide to summer activities.

1. Forest/Grass Fires: Wait till the grass gets nice and dry, ignite in a few strategic area's then retire to a safe hidden vantage point for a fun packed day. See also Doing the School Bins 

2. Urban Camping: Set up camp on a bit of waste land then spend the rest of the night walking around throwing stones at windows, posting dogs parcels through peoples letter boxes, breaking into schools, legging it everytime a car can be heard, pinching peoples milk in the morning. Just like Chris Bonnington but without your toes falling off or a randy yeti ripping the tent from your shivering sleeping bodies.

3. Day Trips: Every once in a while you're going to end up at 'World of Bee's' or 'The George Formby Museum of St Bernard Films'. Just rush around all the attractions acting the goat, being a cheeky monkey then head straight to the gift shop and chore as many rubber spiders/maginifying glasses/super balls as your pockets will carry. Job done Pedro.

4. Swings: Finding a long length of thick rope can be enought to bestow god like status on a person, just like those fruity bears did to that gay robot in Star War. All you need now is a dangerously high railway bridge over a steep embankment, or tree over a shopping trolley filled river. Alton Towers can go fuck itself to death because its all about swings Daisy Duke.

5. Country Walks: Here's my advice, get off the public footpaths and get amongst the nature, feel at one with the mother planet because theres a whole world of summer activities waiting for you. Breaking into barns, smashing up tractors, setting fire to haystacks, getting legged off by farmers whilst telling your mates that they use shotgun cartidges filled with salt pellets, chucking stones at cows, robbing boxes of crisps from the food tent in a deserted girl guide camp then wishing you had pinched some drinks...Nature

6. Traps: From cavemen to the Viet Cong they knew how to have fun in the summer and what better way to test your woodcraft skills. You can start easy by digging a big fuck off pit on a footpath and covering it with twigs and ferns, or you can go proper ramboesque and fashion a elaborate trap using nooses, bendy tree's and punji sticks.

7. Lido: There's only one thing to remember about a day at the lido, thats its perfectly acceptable to have ones piss pipe poking out of your speedo's when emerging from the water.Well James Bond